Discovering myself as a personality

I have struggled to understand myself. Ask me about my strengths and I may fail to talk of any traits that makes me out-of-league.

In my early 20s, I could relate to believing in “high thinking and simple living”. Today, 20 years later, I consider the same belief to be a lie and defensive one.

I have no clue what my family thinks about me as I am loved, cared for, fed daily, and not questioned enough. 🙂

Is it that I prefer being the one who likes to have his own way? We all are complicated but I am exceptionally.

If you are into similar thoughts at different points of your life, then pick up “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine N. Aron.

One habit I struggle with is ‘impulsiveness’. Most of the time, I am quiet, simple, and relaxed. As the calmness settles, I get restless and my ambition-anxiousness takes over. “I cannot be settling for this. There is so much better that I can be and let us do that. Let me try something new.”

Elaine in his books explains about the two brain systems- Behavioral activation and Behavioral inhibition (Page no 29–31).

I am someone whose pause-check system is strong but the activation system is also very strong. So I am risk averse and yet adventurous, gets bored easily and yet be aroused very fast, want to do new things but get exhausted afterwards. My optimal lies in a very narrow range between Behavioral activation and Behavioral inhibition.